i just experienced my first real earthquake!

The scene: It's about 11:45 in the morning. I am sitting on the couch, watching "How the Earth Was Made" on the Discovery channel and reading the Image section of the Sunday LA Times. All of a sudden I hear a big rumbling, but at first I thought it was the upstairs neighbors doing something crazy (they sound like they move furniture at all hours of the day). Then it all seemed to happen simultaneously: I watched the bowl of anniversary flowers shuttle and jump across the top of the bookshelf, I heard something fall and break from the kitchen, and it dawned on me that this was an earthquake. It didn't feel real, but all I could think to do was run into the kitchen and hold the shelves steady to keep my breakables from falling. It sounded like loud thunder and I could hear other things falling (Michael's stacks of CDs by the front door)...and then it was over. It lasted for several seconds, and when it stopped I realized how hard my heart was pounding.

It was a 5.4-magnitude quake, centered in Chino Hills, which is about 15 miles east of where we live. Michael wasn't able to get in touch with me for about a half-hour because the phone lines were all jammed up, but his neighbor, Stan, came over to check on me after a while. We had met in the laundry room the other day, and after I opened the front door he said, "It just dawned on me that you're from Florida and probably haven't ever experienced anything like this before!" I thought that was incredibly nice of him to make sure I was okay and not rattled, although I think that makes it twice now that he's seen me wearing a housedress with no makeup on and dirty hair pulled back. He asked if anything broke, but the only casualty was a bottle of cinnamon schnapps (out of all the liquor Michael has, I'm glad that's the one that broke). Throughout the rest of the apartment, a few things fell over but nothing else broke.

So there we go! My first relatively big earthquake! Now I know that I should have gone outside in the apartment complex courtyard, but all's well that ends well. I was actually more excited than scared, actually. Does that make me crazy?

long time no see! i've been in california for a week now, but all my updating energy has gone to the travel blog:

http://theroadisbeforeus.wordpress.com/

so i hope you're checking it!

i'm also trying to post pictures on flickr, slowly but surely: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lindseymorrison/collections/72157606093441878/

one of michael's friends made a livejournal RSS feed for our travel blog!

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/roadbeforeus/

yay!

i feel like i haven't updated in AGES! i've been totally consumed with packing and all things last-week-in-town related. i'm actually in my office right now, using photoshop for the last time and dropping off my key and ID. i don't even know what to write here, so much has been going on! over the next week and a half, flickr and the travel blog will be the best ways to keep up with me:

http://flickr.com/photos/lindseymorrison/

http://theroadisbeforeus.wordpress.com/

then once i get to california, who knows when the internet will get set up in the apartment; i'll have to seek out local wifi areas in order to update.

right now progress seems pretty good...i have the vast majority of my stuff packed, except the last-minute stuff like the bathroom and kitchen. the cube is being delivered tomorrow, so i can start packing it with all the boxes and bins i've been packing over the past week. michael comes saturday morning, and then we leave on sunday! it's all happening so fast, and i can't imagine getting everything done in time...but i know it will. now it's time to head home!

copied from michael's journal, this is the rough draft of our cross-country road trip:

Sunday, June 29
2pm, leave Jacksonville
10pm, arrive New Orleans
[i love how michael has times on here, because we'll be lucky if the trip works out that way. i'd like to leave even earlier on sunday if we can manage, but that will depend on how much i get done next week. yikes!]

Monday, June 30
Spend all day exploring New Orleans
[questions for the masses: what is the best cemetery in new orleans that i should see? i think we'll only have time to really explore one, so i want a good one! has anyone been to the aquarium there? is it worth it? what hotel should we stay in? we want to start the trip out with some fanciness, so we're willing to spend some money on something nice. is there something we shouldn't miss while we're there?]

Tuesday, July 1
10am, leave New Orleans
7pm, arrive San Antonio; spend night with beckon_you_on

Wednesday, July 2
Hang out with Alli and George; hopefully go to the Toilet Seat Art Museum,  leave late-afternoon for Austin, spend night with jesuscooks and snorgle baby Julien! (if we could make it to the Cathedral of Junk, i would be so happy!)

Thursday, July 3
Spend the day exploring Austin; leave early-afternoon for Dallas, hopefully hang out with texantart! (Janet, I hope you won't be too busy for dinner! Is there anything fun on Thursday nights that we should know about?) Stay in a hotel.

Friday, July 4
Go to the Dallas Aquarium in the morning, then leave for El Paso. ["el paso" is basically a stand-in for "drive like hell across texas and see where we end up at night when we're exhausted and can't drive any more.] On our way out of Dallas, WE HAVE TO SEE THE CHROMOSAURS!

Saturday, July 5
Leave in the morning for Phoenix; arrive in Phoenix late afternoon. [explore arizona in the meantime! i want to see some saguaros! then once we get to phoenix, we'll meet up with my friend jeffrey and hang out.]

Sunday, July 6
Leave Phoenix early afternoon; arrive in Los Angeles at night. [this last day should be pretty nice, because it's only about 5 hours from phoenix to los angeles, so we'll have some time to look at stuff before needing to get home...but we also might be totally exhausted and ready to be home, so that's up in the air.]

any more suggestions of stuff we should have on our radar?

so, one of my projects this weekend was to go through my zine collection and save only the ones that were really important to me. it was surreal to sort through two giant bins of zines and discover that i'm still in touch with many of you! but i did try to be brutal and let go of some really good zines, so now i have zines that are in need of a good home.



there are some great zines in there--some of them i found doubles of, and some of them i just didn't have as much of an emotional connection to any more. i can probably stuff about 4 flat-rate priority envelopes full of whatever's in there. each envelope is $4.80; comment here to claim as many as you want and then you can paypal me the money! all zines have been claimed! you guys are great!

well, we did it. the epitome of couple-mushiness. michael and i created a shared blog, in order to write about the whole moving/cross-country adventure that we're about to embark on. right now, the only people who have the address are my work colleagues, so it's time to post it here just in case anyone is interested:

the road is before us

not much is there yet, but michael wrote a really adorable version of our "story" that is definitely worth reading.

as part of my "transfer my EXTENSIVE library of bookmarks over to my new laptop" project, i am going through my "favorite dinosaur comics" folder and revisiting some of my favorite dinosaur comics ever:



and i can totally vouch for this one:


it's ALL true.

[in the meantime, in lieu of a birthday update, i have been putting pictures online of the birthday party and the birthday dancing!]

inspired by indoctrinator, who only updates once every year or so:

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

here were claire's questions: 

1. Which personality trait/behavior of yours has changed most drastically in the past five years? Why? i can't pinpoint a single trait, because so many of them are interconnected. five years ago, and over the past few years, i had incredible problems with my self-confidence, my comfort in my own skin, and my social anxiety. i constantly felt emotionally unstable--i would feel good during the day, and then at night i couldn't sleep because a reel kept repeating in my head how disgusting i was. there was always an undercurrent of scrabbling for a happy medium, even if on the surface everything appeared fine.

at this point in my life, however, i feel completely different. the change was pretty abrupt, actually, within the past year and a half. i don't know exactly what the catalyst was, only that i started to make a lot more positive decisions for myself instead of trying to change for other people. part of it was growing older, i'm sure, and starting to put myself first in many areas of my life. now, i'm content almost all the time and i'm happy the vast majority of the time. i'm still self-conscious, of course, but it's not to a crippling degree like it had been for most of my life. i just feel on a really even keel, and it's a great feeling.

2. In going through all your stuff, what has been the single hardest thing to let go of? Why did you decide to chuck it anyway?
i don't know if there has been a single hardest thing to let go of, but it was surprisingly hard to get rid of old things from past relationships. (some things, of course, i happily tossed into the trash bag!) i had been holding onto some tangible memories that, a few years ago, signified something i wanted to return to. so going through my old storage bins and finding pieces of art that an old boyfriend had made for me, for example, brought up some really good memories...but i also realized that it was time to let it go--unlike in the past, where i held onto things because they made me think of happier times, now i am with someone who is everything i ever wanted. i don't need to hold onto so much of the past anymore, because my future is what's really exciting. so it was a way of getting rid of old emotional baggage, both symbolically and tangibly, freeing myself up for everything that is to come with the most perfect boy for me.

3. To the best of your ability, describe your concept of your Higher Power.
wow. this is a hard one. i don't quite know what i believe, and i tend to flit back and forth between different ideas. i do believe that there is energy in the world that can be positively or negatively directed, but i waffle on whether i believe that there is some kind of higher power in the traditional (or even nontraditional) sense.

4. What is the one book you wish you had written and why?
when i first read this question, i was completely stumped. but after mulling it around in my mind it came to me all of a sudden: written on the body by jeanette winterson. that is a book that i go to again and again, and there are passages that still make me shiver with how amazing they are. here is one of them that makes my heart feel tight every time i read it:

"Articulacy of the fingers, the language of the deaf and dumb, signing on the body, body longing. Who taught you to write in blood on my back? Who taught you to use your hands as branding irons? You have scored your name into my shoulders, referenced me with your mark. The pads of your fingers have become printing blocks, you tap a message onto my skin, tap meaning into my body. Your morse code interferes with my heart beat. I had a steady heart before I met you, I relied on it, it had seen active service and grown strong. Now you alter its pace with your own rhythm, you play upon me, drumming me taut."

on the structural level, i love the way the narrative unfolds and the use of "you"; it's also one of the best depictions of a genderless narrator that i've ever read. i just love that book so very much in so many ways!

 5. I have never seen 'Lost' and am actually embarassingly sketchy about the characters, premise, and plot. What's so great about it? Explain.
OH MAN. well, i'm not really going to try to give a short overview of the plot or characters or any of that because i wouldn't EVEN know where to begin, but here is why i like it: the character development is really thorough and interesting, there are lots of literary allusions in the show, the attention to detail (little throwaway details turn out to be really important several episodes or even seasons later), the acting (for the most part) is really great, the plot keeps getting more complex and interesting, and i can't wait to find out what happens next. i'm hopelessly hooked on the show, which only has two seasons left, and i'm hoping that the writers know what they're doing to not have it fizzle out at the end. fingers crossed!

still plugging away at the photo-a-day project! i'm really excited to have found something that has kept my interest for so long, especially considering my grand "read every book i own and write about it" plan failed so miserably last year. some days are better than others, especially on those days where i realize i have done nothing interesting whatsoever and it's 10:00 at night and i'd better just take a picture of zoe or something...there seemed to be quite a few of those this past month, even though i felt pretty busy. this was also the month where every picture but one were taken with my DLSR, and almost every picture was edited in photoshop, with varying results.

here are my favorites from may:


i don't know what it is i like so much about this picture, but i keep gravitating to it. i like the colors and beth's awesome kitchen, and i think claire's hair looks really great.


on yard sale day, when mary and stone popped by for a visit. i like the mother-baby intimacy, and i like the ethereal effect i got in photoshop.


i felt like utter garbage when taking this shot, at sushi komasa in little tokyo with michael...but i think it turned out well.


one of my favorite shots from the entire film festival, even though people seemed to gravitate towards this one more.


at claire and simon's wedding reception, as everyone threw rose petals on them.


taya making vegan banana bread. this was totally one of those "oh shit, i haven't taken a picture today...luckily taya's in the kitchen!" last-minute photos, but i like it.


the last picture of may, taken at cool moose cafe (best veggie burger i've ever eaten!). robyn is starting to communicate her displeasure at being the subject of my photos. this picture was one of the only ones to be free of photoshopping, because i liked it just as it was.

the final count of may:
photos taken of food or wine: 9
pictures with people: 12
last-minute pictures of household pets: 3
lazy days where i only took one or two photos and hoped they worked: most of them
times i cheated and back-dated the camera to get a picture: 1

first picture of june:

an orchid in our backyard that bloomed after being totally neglected for about 6 months, after a short rainstorm. i took this at almost 8:00 at night as i was heading out to the gym. 

i feel like i've been really busy lately, but yet nothing feels interesting enough to write about. my mind has been occupied by planning the upcoming move and my upcoming birthday party (june 6! if anyone happens to be passing through jacksonville!), and about all the things I Need To Do. those things include: clean the damn house, which is disgusting (i have been sick and/or busy lately, but mostly i have just been lazy); go through more bins, sort through more memorabilia, and cull out stuff i want to sell at the yard sale or give away; actually set up internet on the laptop i got last week but have only turned on once, and try to see if my old desktop will turn on. if i do all of that, i will feel very proud of myself. i'm really glad this is a long weekend; claire's wedding is on saturday and then sunday and monday are reserved for Getting Shit Done.

something else i've been up to is reveling in my stimulus payment from the government, which really came at a great time for me. i was able to get a cute laptop bag and some cute pajamas/undies (stimulating the economy like a good patriot), donate money to the victims of the china earthquake, and put some money towards paying off debt, along with intermittent treats like not feeling bad about eating out during the film festival.

well, here is something where i need some advice. i need to pick two dresses to wear to claire's wedding on saturday (the ceremony is in the morning, and then there is an "after-party" in the late afternoon/evening) and I'm indecisive. plus i need to figure out something to wear to her bachelorette party tonight and to the bridal shower tomorrow! so here are the options:

1.
dumb pose, but cute dress. pros: hasn't been worn yet, so not photo-documented at all. really flattering (even though i'm not crazy about the lace at the bottom, but it doesn't overly bother me). can be worn with either a red or bright blue cropped cardigan if it's chilly in the venue. i wouldn't wear this to the ceremony, but it could work for either the bachelorette party tonight or the after-party saturday evening.

2.
also never been worn or photo-documented, which is a definite pro. the only thing I don't like about this dress is the layer of tulle at the bottom, because it looks all uneven and gets bunchy. i might try to cut it off, or at least cut it shorter than the dress hem. would work for any of the events, really. it's also the most demure of all of them, heh.

3.
i wore this to alicia's wedding last october, so it has been photo-documented at a special event within the past year (usually a disqualifier), but none of my friends were there and it's so pretty! if i wore this dress, i would wear it to the actual ceremony with a red cropped cardigan (seen here). its only con is that it's kind of low-cut...but ALL my dresses are pretty cleavage-baring, so it's not like i have many other choices. heh. i love this dress and don't ever get a chance to wear it, so this seems like an ideal time to do so.

4. no pictures, but it's a teal strapless a-line dress. it kind of looks like this dress, only without straps and not black, but that general style. it's very simple and pretty and could be appropriate for the bachelorette party (pros: if we go out dancing, it was the cheapest dress and would be easiest to clean if it gets gross), but it would also look nice at the reception with cute heels and jewelry. cons: my friend robyn owns the exact same dress and she might wear it to the ceremony! haha! i tried to convince her to be my twin at the reception, but she wasn't really on board.

so, yeah. help! what do you like best, and what should i wear?

today is moving so slowly...perhaps that's because this weekend seemed to move so quickly, with everything scheduled and places to go and people to see. my film festival experience this year hasn't been as exciting as last year's, where i felt impressed and exhilarated by several films. i wish i had planned my film-viewing schedule a little more carefully, because i missed a few films that i really wanted to see, but oh well.

films i've seen so far:
several short films, which was really hit-or-miss. my favorites were "we are all rwandans"; "the wall," a 7-minute short with no dialogue about the solace provided by music between a former nazi and his neighbor, a concentration camp survivor; "zoologic," an animated film; and "string."

"the birthday," a documentary about transpeople in iran. it was good, if a little choppy. you can read an interview with the director here.

"chasing the devil," a documentary about the ex-gay movement. it was really chaotic, like the filmmakers had SO MUCH they wanted to say but not the clearest vision of how to do that...but it was good (and creepy!) nonetheless, and you can read an interview with the director here. i was impressed that the JFF had two films this year dealing with queer themes--last year they showed a documentary about female sexuality, and it caused such an uproar because the community was horrified that children might be exposed to women talking about sex. gasp! and the last (and only) time there was a LGBT film festival in jacksonville, the theater was surrounded by people who beat it with bibles to "cleanse" it. yeah.

"dohaa (dark waters)," a film about life in rural india (i'm horribly simplifying the premise here). i was glad i saw it, and it was a good movie, but MAN was it dark and depressing. it didn't end with any sense of hope for the characters at all...and while sometimes i like that in a movie, it was a rough way to end the day on saturday.

"the linguists," a documentary about languages on the verge of extinction. this was really well-made and interesting; one of the linguists, greg, reminded me of doug benson, if he had been a linguist instead of a pot-smoking comedian. one of the most interesting parts of the film was when they discovered the complex number-base system of chulym, where "ninety-three" would be translated as "fourtwentytwelveone."

"homeland," about love between an israeli man and a palestinian woman in new york. i wanted to like this more than i did, but it felt really heavy-handed and predictable at times. eh.

"inside the circle," a documentary about rival b-boy crews in austin, texas. despite not being able to understand some of the dialogue, i really enjoyed this. it was also the most fun experience of the festival (so far), because afterwards sara and i stayed for the "hip hop for the masses" after-party where the had a b-boy battle, a breaking exhibition by some of the guys in the film, and a drumline. yay!

a photo from the after-party:


i still have three more days left of the festival and at least three more movies to see, so i'm excited.

buyolympia.com is giving away 10000 free VOTE posters by nikki mcclure (one of my favorite artists):



get yours now!

as requested:

What is your favorite meal to prepare? pasta with mushrooms. this has a lot of variations (cream sauce, just olive oil, various other vegetable additions like olives or asparagus, shrimp, parmesan), but it's a definite comfort food for me and i know i'm adept at cooking it, so i know it will turn out tasty and soothing.

Is there a food that you indulge in when you know you shouldn't? i hate the concept of "shouldn't," but i definitely over-indulge in dairy-based stuff like cream sauces.

What food always reminds you of home? oddly enough, hamburger helper cheeseburger macaroni. whenever my dad made dinner, that's what we'd have...and no one made it as good as him. i don't know what he did, but not even my mom could compare. i always loved hamburger helper nights, and it was even better as leftovers the next day.

What's the perfect snack? it's really hard for me to pick "perfect" anythings, because so much of what i want to eat depends on several different variables...but my most recent "perfect snack" was coming home and fixing myself some pear cubes with manchego cheese.

What was your most memorable meal? i can never pick a MOST memorable meal, but the first one to come to mind was the first time michael and i went out to eat together...we went to the pacific dining car around midnight, and i was wearing polka-dotted wedges that kept sliding off my feet because it was so hot out, even in the middle of the night, and i was frustrated because i wasn't able to walk very seductively at all. i was a little overwhelmed at the steakiness of the menu, but i knew that steak was his favorite food and i wanted to impress him by eating some steak. (i think that's the first time i've ever used "steak" three times in one sentence.) i got steak smothered in mushrooms with grilled shrimp on the side, and it was surprisingly delicious--i hadn't eaten steak in years because i normally don't eat red meat at all, and i'd forgotten what it tasted like. it still won't ever be a craving or a first choice for me, but i think my choice of steak had its intended effect on michael. aside from the food, the meal was memorable because the conversation was so easy and comfortable--we talked for hours, about all sorts of things. i definitely remember talking about my sexuality and the panels that i've done, and being so relieved that he was so open and accepting of it. we had some delicious wine (they had my favorite, zolo torrontes, which i hardly ever see on wine lists), delicious food, and stuffed ourselves to the gills before going back home and falling asleep together.

When you are out at a restaurant or bar, what's your drink of choice? this all depends on what the "purpose" of the night is and what time of year it is. ideally, in the cooler months, i would love to order sidecars whenever i go out...but in my experience, most bartenders don't know what that is. sigh. so i never ask, because i don't want to be "the girl with the complicated drink order." at restaurants, i normally order wine--beer is too heavy with food, in my experience, and cocktails are better on their own. at a bar, sometimes i'll order a black russian: all liquor, no mixer, tastes like dessert so i drink them quickly (i hate holding onto drinks). if i want something crisper, i'll get a gin and tonic. if i'm in a beer-drinking mood, yuengling is my standard, but they don't have that in california so i'll have to switch. now that i'm actually giving this a lot of thought, i don't really have anything that i drink consistently.

What's your favorite restaurant and what do you order there? i am a very predictable orderer. if i can get pasta with shrimp and mushrooms in a cream or olive-oil based sauce, i'll get that. mushroom ravioli on the menu? give me that. thai: always pad thai with shrimp. sushi: always something with eel and avocado.

What three things are always in your refrigerator? parmesan cheese, a bottle of white wine, and some pasta leftovers.

Do you have a comfort food? i have so many comfort foods: the aforementioned pasta with mushrooms (the true "comfort dish" will have olives and LOTS of cheese), cookies and milk, and tiramisu come to mind.

What are you having for dinner tonight? ooh, tonight is a special night! it marks the first of my "m cubed: monday movie meat night" gatherings where i have my friends over, use them as guinea pigs as i learn how to cook meat, and we watch one of the movies i have saved on my DVR. tonight is going to be shrimp scampi (starting off with something easy, as i'm comfortable cooking shrimp but have never made scampi sauce); the movie is going to be "them!" (1954) about mutant ants terrorizing los angeles. i'm really excited, except it will mean dishes for DAYS.

well, i finally did it. i made the leap into the world of digital SLRs:


my new baby, the nikon d40.


i sold my old camera, the fuji finepix S9000, to hezzamonster...it was really tempting to keep it, but i am trying to embrace the idea of making space for new things that i bring into my household. as much as i loved that camera (28-300mm zoom in one lens! so amazing for shows and places where "professional" cameras aren't allowed), i needed to let it go. so i'm glad heather is going to give it a good home and get lots of use out of it! i'll still have my tiny finepix Z3 for pocket purposes (that camera has been responsible for the vast majority of my photo-of-the-day shenanigans, so it definitely holds a little special place in my heart), plus my film camera for when i get a wild hair to use film (hasn't happened since summer vacation 2006, but i'm not counting it out!).

the camera arrived yesterday--i got the "kit" with the 55-200mm lens because i am a glutton for zooming--and i gleefully took everything out of the box, put it together, charged the battery...and realized that i didn't buy a memory card to go with it. oops. so i'm going to pick up a memory card after work today--then the playing will commence! so exciting! i want to really get comfortable with it--getting back in the habit of using the viewfinder is going to be odd, i know--before michael and i do our cross-country road-trip so i can take a gazillion pictures. plus, what better way to mark this transitional period in my life than with a new, awesome camera?

while perusing my regular sites on the internet today, tomato nation had an entry that linked to this NYT article called "it's not you, it's your books." reading the comments on the blog about books or reading habits that signified the end to a crush/relationship got me to thinking about my own reading habits and what people would think of them. generally speaking, i think my book collection would be intimidating to someone who may have only read five books in their whole life, but would make a true literary snob laugh behind my back (or perhaps even to my face!).

i was an english major, but i also wouldn't categorize myself as a literature snob or even well-versed in much "literature" in general. if you check my mothballed myspace page, i don't list favorite books, only favorite authors; complete strangers (or, in the context of the above article, potential dates) looking at my page would discover that i like dorothy allison, david sedaris, mary karr, lemony snicket, stephen king, flannery o'connor, chris van allsburg, jeanette winterson, v.c. andrews, alice walker, elaine brown, amber hollibaugh, audre lorde, myla goldberg, beverly cleary, jk rowling. a smattering of queer, children's, modern, and "trash" authors...hmm.

i am still plugging away at the photo-a-day project. there are definitely days where i am uninspired and take a crappy picture of something (usually a cat) while sitting on the couch, or where i think i am taking good pictures and then upload them to my computer and find out that they're all blurry...but for the most part, i'm pretty proud of what i've done.

march highlights:


first picture of the march set! cutest boyfriend in the world! on the smoking patio at verdugo bar. i always forget that he smokes until he goes outside to smoke, oddly enough.


this was a happy accident--it was during "project runway" night where my friends came over to drink wine and watch some reality tv, and i was trying to take pictures of my wine glass with the blue wall in the background, lit by the lamp above. when i saw this on my little camera screen, i was pissed that my camera had screwed up the lighting; when i saw this on my computer screen, i immediately loved it. i'm not sure how it happened, but i'm glad it did.


one afternoon, i needed to take some books back to the library and pick up some books on hold. usually i just stop on my way home from work, but that day was so gorgeous and i decided to go straight home and walk to the library instead. i brought my camera and took some pictures while walking around my neighborhood. this location doesn't have any emotional resonance for me, but i love how blue the sky is contrasted with the whiteness of the steeple.


this is from my mom's journal, taken as i was working on transcribing it. i love her handwriting and how she started using dashes as her primary punctuation. on these two pages she was writing about exciting experiences she'd had that we probably didn't know about, like going skinny-dipping in a mountain pool or gambling in back rooms of bars. (if you look at the large/original versions of this picture, you can read the whole story.)


it never fails: i document food more than anything else! this was a butterscotch dipped cone from dairy queen, which i never knew existed! in all my days getting dipped cones at dairy queen (which happens only about once a year or so), i've never been presented with flavor options for my dips until that day.


this is one of my favorite pictures that i took in march. mostly i love the expression on mary's face as she looks at her newborn son (he's a week old in this picture), and i also like the natural lighting. (the "almost ready to pop" picture i took a couple weeks earlier was a little blurry, but still cute.)


last picture of march, with eleven minutes to spare! lit only by the lamp next to my bed (hence the jaundiced color of my skin), i took this right before falling asleep.

to my utter surprise, i got an email from microcosm publishing asking if they could include an excerpt from baby girl #8 in the 2007/08 zine yearbook! joe wrote, " We found your zine to be truly exceptional...actually, so much so that we were not able to come to a final decision as a group about what to include and were hoping you might be able to tune us into what you thought were the most important parts."

i'm putting that question, then, to all of you who have read the zine: what do YOU think were the most moving and/or important parts? i've gone through and made a short list of what i think would work best as an excerpt (which is hard, because i didn't write any stand-alone pieces), and if anyone is interested, my list includes: one of the times my mom wanted to give up on chemo, a conversation we had about death and dying, one of the times she had to deal with the staph infection (although in the zine some of those entries are edited to exclude the draining, stupid relationship stuff), and later battles with radiation and feeling generally weak. i wanted to select something from when she was moving into hospice, but those seemed more disjointed to me. i'm really curious to see what other people think, though! it's hard for me to critically look at my own writing sometimes and see what would work as a published stand-alone piece.

if you haven't read the zine, i still have plenty of copies!

(baby girl #7 is also available!)

i just finished writing that "how i became a feminist" piece for the susan b. anthony luncheon...it's not great by any means, but it at least has some kind of point, and i don't have to be there while it's read. the events coordinator for the women's center told me it was "perfect," so that assuages my ego a little bit, even though it was like walking across nails to write the damn thing.

i regret not being able to incorporate this quote in there, though, because it's one of my favorites:

As feminists, many of us have committed our whole lives to struggling to chance what most people in this society don’t even question, and sometimes the intensity of our struggle has persuaded us that the only way to accomplish chance is to make hard bargains, to give up some points and compromise on others. What this has always meant in the end, unfortunately, is trading some people for others.

I do not want to do that.
I do not want to require any other woman to do that.
I do not want to claim a safe and comfortable life for myself that is purchased at the cost of some other woman’s needs or desires.

--Dorothy Allison

katherine's new puppy, miette! she appears to be half/mostly bluetick hound, and is totally precious and adorable. katherine brought her by the house last night, because she's staying in jacksonville for a few days.


katherine does still look like a hobo, but who cares when there is puppy belly to coo over?


miette!